


The Brassic Bride (aka The Ultimate ATLA Ship Post)

by CorundumBleu



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO, Crack, I wrote this to annoy my sister, MUAHAHAHA I'M COMING FOR YOU, Other, Vegetables, Wedding, also we share this ao3 account so jokes on me I guess, but now it's her favorite thing, edited by Sapphire, incredibly silly crack, is it really sharing if you only ever use this account to dunk on me in fic tags?, oh shit she's onto me!, this fic is high in molybdenum, um actually that'd be a turtledog probably, written by Ruby, zuko plays tsungi horn that's how crack this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:29:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23060986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CorundumBleu/pseuds/CorundumBleu
Summary: It was, Momo reflected, a beautiful wedding.
Relationships: momo/cabbage
Comments: 45
Kudos: 160





	The Brassic Bride (aka The Ultimate ATLA Ship Post)

It was, Momo reflected, a beautiful wedding. The fairy lights cast warm pink and yellow hues across the room of the temple sanctum, bringing the sylvan decorations to life. Through the glow, a sea of familiar faces beamed up at him.

A chime rang out and the church doors opened. His best man, Aang, a friend and provider of peach-lychees through so many difficult trials, strode solemnly down the aisle arm in arm with his bride-to-be’s half brother, Lau Gan-Lan. Momo thought he saw tears in Aang's eyes, but as he stepped onto the dias he flashed Momo a grin and a quick wink. You got this, it seemed to say.

The band, led by Zuko on the tsungi horn, struck up a joyful tune as the rest of the bridal party promenaded up the aisle: Katara wearing a dress in the traditional Southern Water Tribe ceremonial style but cut from lush forest-green Earth Kingdom cloth; Sokka with his impish grin, who seemed to be enjoying walking arm-in-arm pretty bridesmaid (to Suki’s dismay and amusement); Toph, who outwardly seemed irritated with the whole affair, even though she had traveled all the way from Republic City on short noticed to be there. Appa, of course, was presiding over the ceremony.

A long note from the band's Dungchen player caused everyone to rise and look once more to the chapel doors. A figure appeared silhouetted in the bright arch of the doorway, holding a large shape. Momo’s breath caught in his throat. That was her. His gorgeous, verdant, brassic bride.

The Cabbage Merchant approached with proper gravitas, done up in his best apron and green cap, holding the most beautiful cabbage Momo had ever seen. She was breathtaking, swathed in diaphonous white burlap that traced the gentle bulbous curve of her leafy body. A gossamer veil of silk partially obscured the verdurous blush in her cheeks, and the audience gasped as she and her surrogate father wafted down the aisle. The lush rosette of her leaves was gathered gracefully at the crown of her head. Momo thought she looked the very picture of herbaceous elegance.

After what seemed an eternity, they reached the dias. Momo and the cabbage—his cabbage—caught each other’s eyes and shared a secret smile as the Merchant placed her gently on the elevated stool next to Momo.

Appa caught everyone’s attention with a grunt, and initiated the vows with melodic lowing. “I do,” Momo chattered without breaking eye contact with his cruciferous bride. Appa then regarded the cabbage with his deep soulful eyes, asking the final, fateful question.

“I do,” said the cabbage, without hesitation.

The crowd erupted. Cheering, shouting, everyone hurrahed the happy couple as they embraced and began to walk together out of the church. The Cabbage Merchant watched them go with glistening eyes. A single happy tear rolled down his cheek and he muttered, so soft that scarcely anyone could hear,

“My cabbages…”

**Author's Note:**

> Do NOT test my sister's patience with your fandom bullshit she WILL stay up on Christmas eve to write incredibly silly wedding scenarios in revenge.
> 
> (To be fair, it was probably deserved for getting the Secret Tunnel song stuck in her head.)
> 
> (Also, happy birthday Ruby! :D)


End file.
